How can we be unique individuals and also be part of a cosmic interconnected field of energy? Actually, we already have lots of experience at this. For example, we are members of our family and of social groups, communities and nations, each with their own distinct characteristics. Yet we share ideals, views, and emotions that cross any of these boundaries. We all know how heartbreaking it is to lose a loved one, and we can all share that sense of grief. Just as we can feel thrilled at another’s accomplishments in music or sports.

Why does this matter? The more we are able to sense our interconnectedness, the more we understand that others are part of ourselves and so we become less likely to harm them. What helps you feel grounded in yourself and interconnected with others at the same time?

Have you ever felt like, if you forgive someone, you are condoning what they did? Being able to forgive is one of the biggest challenges we face…and one of our biggest barriers to experiencing joy.

I choose how I feel or react, so my anger at the other person is my own feeling and interpretation. That doesn’t mean I need to forget what happened or allow myself to be harmed by that person in the same way again!

Try this for a week: Each day identify someone that you feel harmed you or someone you love. Ask yourself in what way you have been able to use that interaction as a teacher – what did you learn that has been helpful, or how did it push you in a new, exciting direction.

What do we need to do to be harmless? For me, it means taking responsibility for angry or demeaning thoughts about others instead of taking my feelings out on them, either verbally or in my thoughts. This doesn’t mean that I’m “bad” to have such thoughts, just that I need to deal with them energetically rather than let them harm others.

Here’s what I do if I am really angry with someone else: I set up a white light “shower” between myself and the world. Then I get into feeling as angry or frustrated as I wish, while recognizing that the feelings are about me, not the other person. When all that angry energy passes through the white light shower, it comes out “pink” (benign) on the other side.

What about you? What do you do to make sure you don’t harm others when you are angry or frustrated?

Feeling critical or judgmental of ourselves or others is a very damaging emotion. It creates a sense of separateness and a fear of experimentation. When we are critical of ourselves, we become tense and edgy. When we are critical of others, we start to feel superior. None of this nourishes a creative interconnection.

Criticism of our behavior can be helpful under certain circumstances: (a) We have asked for feedback. (b) The feedback is specific and tells us both what we did well and how we might improve. (c) The feedback is focused on behavior, not our character.

Try this for a week: Each day notice one time when you speak critically of yourself. Reword what you are saying so that you thank yourself for being open to learning. How does that feel?

Do you have a clear sense of your unique purpose in this life? Or do you feel that anything you could do you should do (a recipe for burnout)?

We can think of our shared lives as a gigantic jigsaw puzzle that we are assembling together. My piece might be part of a waterfall, while yours might be part of a rainbow. We each have a different role to play. We keep centered and effective when we focus on doing “what’s mine to do” and let others do the rest.

Try this for a week: Each day notice a time when you feel really centered. What were you doing? How was it linked to your life purpose?

Remember the feeling of joy – that sense of such extreme delight that you are radiant? Joy is similar to happiness, but it doesn’t require achieving some result. It is simply a state of being in the moment, in the “flow.” Our natural state, as souls, is joyousness.

So why don’t we feel joyous all the time? One reason is that we get focused on our mistakes, or our attachments to specific outcomes, or criticism of others. That kind of focus shifts us out of our sense of oneness or “intunedness” with the universe, which is the core of joyousness.

Try this for a week: Each day pick one time when you feel perfectly in tune with the universe. What made that possible? How can you increase that sense of “intunedness”?

How do you view your life? Do you believe in continuity of consciousness and that we choose certain karmic lessons or debts to be repaid in each life? Or do you believe that this is your only life?

If we have more than one life, isn’t it possible that each is different? One life might be a time to learn new lessons or grow in new ways. Another life might be one where we enjoy the benefits of having honed a skill in a previous life (a possible explanation for child geniuses). Still another life might be a resting time. If so, what are the implications for developmental psychology and how we think of maturation?

What kind of life do you feel you are living? What are the implications for your choices?

How can we create spaces of creative silence in our busy networked lives? Silence allows us to be in touch with our inner selves, to hear the prompting of our soul. Silence gives us the chance to sense, and participate in, the universal rhythm. Silence is important not just when we meditate.

However, I can be harmful through silence. If I fail to speak up when something needs to be said or someone needs to be defended, then I have responsibility for the harmful consequences of that silence. I can also “wound” another person by withdrawing into silence as a punishment.

Try this for a week: Each day notice one time when you feel particularly centered or “in the flow.” Surround that moment with a few seconds of shining silence and see how you feel.

We know that global warming, population expansion, and resource depletion are serious problems – scientists have been telling us this for years. What is our role in changing all this?

Certainly we need to stop our behaviors that are creating the problems. But is it really our role to act unilaterally to fix things? Aren’t we overlooking the role of Gaia, our intelligent biosphere? Gaia has already survived five mass extinctions. Wouldn’t it be more effective if we worked in partnership with Gaia, learning from the adaptations that Gaia makes for survival?

Try this for a week: Each day look for one example of how Gaia adapts to changing circumstances, and think about how we could emulate or cooperate with Gaia.

How can we stop feeling entitled to have whatever we want whenever we want it? We don’t seem content any longer with just sufficiency. We get caught up in “more is better.”

Think for a moment: How many changes of clothing do you have? How much extra bedding? I know I have much more than I actually need. I’m not suggesting that we pare back to the bare minimum. But I am suggesting that we become mindful of what we assume we need.

Try this for a week: Whenever you are about to say “need,” substitute “want” (unless it actually is a need). So instead of saying, “I need a new coat,” say “I want a new coat.” See how you feel.

Any other ideas for how we can shift from “more is better” to contentment?