Archive for the ‘Maturing as humans’ Category

Why do we tend to think things are “either—or”? Is such duality truly an illusion? We are so used to thinking in simple comparisons that we assume duality is just the nature of things. But if we look a little closer, life is more complex. Take any polar opposites and you will find that there are more than two alternatives. For example, “day” and “night”—we have dawn, dusk, noon, and so on.

Some people think of nonduality as moving beyond individual awareness to “merge” with the cosmos. But is that appropriate or even necessary? Can we accept the challenge of viewing the world from multiple perspectives while maintaining our sense of centered self? Can we train ourselves to see more than two options as a matter of habit?

What helps you keep from being dualistic in your thinking? Why would you bother?

Feeling critical or judgmental of ourselves or others is a very damaging emotion. It creates a sense of separateness and a fear of experimentation. When we are critical of ourselves, we become tense and edgy. When we are critical of others, we start to feel superior. None of this nourishes a creative interconnection.

Criticism of our behavior can be helpful under certain circumstances: (a) We have asked for feedback. (b) The feedback is specific and tells us both what we did well and how we might improve. (c) The feedback is focused on behavior, not our character.

Try this for a week: Each day notice one time when you speak critically of yourself. Reword what you are saying so that you thank yourself for being open to learning. How does that feel?

How do you view your life? Do you believe in continuity of consciousness and that we choose certain karmic lessons or debts to be repaid in each life? Or do you believe that this is your only life?

If we have more than one life, isn’t it possible that each is different? One life might be a time to learn new lessons or grow in new ways. Another life might be one where we enjoy the benefits of having honed a skill in a previous life (a possible explanation for child geniuses). Still another life might be a resting time. If so, what are the implications for developmental psychology and how we think of maturation?

What kind of life do you feel you are living? What are the implications for your choices?